


50 Shades of Shut the Fuck Up

by lemoninagin



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Online Dating, BDSM Scene, Dom/sub, Izuo - Freeform, M/M, Master/Slave, Sugar Daddy, poorzuo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-09
Updated: 2015-10-09
Packaged: 2018-04-25 13:38:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4962679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemoninagin/pseuds/lemoninagin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Izaya's search for a sugar daddy has an unexpected outcome.</p>
            </blockquote>





	50 Shades of Shut the Fuck Up

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Spooky-goth](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Spooky-goth).



> I hope this is exactly what you wanted, Spooky, and maybe even more.

Orihara Izaya gave one last once over to the handsome, well groomed man sitting across from him and sighed, wondering how he could have made such a grave miscalculation in character. Usually he was never wrong, even when it came to interpreting profiles online that could easily exaggerate and lie through their mask of anonymity. It was a special talent he had, looking into human behavior even through the most vague of ways - online conversation being one of his specialties in particular.

There had been something about the way this man had held his attention, the way he had 'spoken' that had caught his eye. On top of that, he was gorgeous and aesthetically appealing enough even for Izaya's picky all-too superficial tastes. Then, combined with _that photo_ , he'd made what he thought was a very smart gamble and well...honestly, he must really not have been thinking clearly to fall for such an obvious catfish ploy. 

Then again, he'd been so positive he'd finally hit the jackpot...

Izaya shook his head slightly, not enough to really alert his blonde-haired companion as he reflected on where exactly he'd gone wrong. Unfortunately, today was apparently one of those rare times where luck was just not going his way. 

His most recent quest for finding a sugar daddy in Ikebukuro was now officially a letdown. When he'd arrived at the pre-arranged address about a half hour earlier, Izaya had taken one glance at the run-down apartment complex and instantly deflated. He had been about to make a run for it when the deceitful man himself had come outside to meet him, basically cornering him into having to at least pretend to be polite and come upstairs for some tea.

Perhaps he _should have_ stuck to the ritzier areas of Shinjuku...although, his main reason from branching away from those in the first place was due to them being littered with ugly, creepy old men whom he didn't have an interest in at all. Hey, just because he was looking for a financial provider didn't mean he couldn't have standards.

Izaya pushed his cup of tea to the side, deciding he might as well address the situation and get it over with.

“Ah, thank you kindly for the tea, um...Heiwajima-san, was it?”

Shizuo looked up from the bit of cake he'd been eating, suddenly alert. An identical slice sat in front of Izaya, but remained untouched since he didn't care for sweets (or at least not the cheap kind that Shizuo had). Shizuo seemed to notice this right away and for a moment, Izaya was sure he saw a faint flicker of annoyance directed at him - but really now? Was this man so petty he felt the need to be annoyed that Izaya wasn't indulging in his low-class treat? It was bad enough that he had to sit in that dingy living room on a dust covered seat under extremely low lighting!

“Please. Call me Shizuo.”

Whatever that look was, it fell away and was replaced with a charming smile and kind voice. Izaya shifted uncomfortably.

“Shizuo...-san.” 

Izaya tested out the name on his tongue, but he wasn't sure he liked the way it sounded. For some reason, he felt like it far from suited this man, even though he did appear to have a generally calm demeanor.

“Your hospitality has been great, but I think it'd be better to be up front with you now. I don't think this is going to work out at all. Sorry.”

“Oh? Well, that's a relief then. I was going to tell you the same thing, too.”

“Yeah, yeah, it's not you, it's – wait, you _what_?”

Izaya had been about to give his default rejection speech, when he did a double take, letting Shizuo's words sink in. Had he _really_ heard that right?

“I said I agree. This _definitely_ isn't going to work.”

Shizuo shrugged, as if it was the simplest thing in the world to say. Oh, how wrong he was to simply reject someone like Orihara Izaya so casually! What could possibly have been wrong with _him_?! 

“And what, exactly, wouldn't work out here with _me_? I mean, you're the one who...”

Izaya couldn't help the irritation that was beginning to crawl into his voice and almost blurted out what had been on his mind, but caught himself at the last moment at the inquisitive tilt of Shizuo's head. As much as he hated broke ass people, he didn't want to _outright_ insult the man...

“Hmm? By all means, _please_ continue. I think I'd like to hear your reasons first, since we're deciding to be up front 'n all.”

Izaya felt his cheeks warm at the direct call out, and a playful grin pulled up at the corner of Shizuo's lips as he leaned back in his chair and put his arms behind his head to stare at him expectantly. Izaya tipped his chin up in disdain. Fine, if this man wanted him to be direct about it, he'd be more than happy to do just that, and maybe then some.

“Alright then, since you _asked_...I believe you have misled me. There has obviously been a great misunderstanding here.”

“I misled you...? How so...? All my pictures and profile info are up to date for the most part, if you can't tell...”

Shizuo gestured to himself to accentuate how obvious it was that his physical appearance was exactly how he'd presented it online, and Izaya shook his hands in front of him to reassure him that that was the least of his issues.

“No, no, it's not that. It's just that...uh, well I assumed you were a little better off than this. You know.”

Izaya waved airily around at the shabby interior of the apartment as if he was some sort of higher judge of what was an acceptable amount of money for one to spend on their living spaces. 

“Financially. You see, I've been looking for a, how should I put this...a _provider_ , if you will.”

Shizuo quirked an eyebrow at him, and Izaya hoped the man wasn't as stupid as pretty much all the other poor people that he knew. He didn't really want to give a lecture about what sugar daddies were. Izaya pulled out his phone and swiped to Shizuo's profile so he wouldn't have to further broach an already awkward subject. He angled the screen towards him and Shizuo leaned forward again to stare at it.

Izaya pointed at the screen, tapping his finger patronizingly as if Shizuo couldn't comprehend what he was looking at.

“Because of this _misleading_ main picture, I thought that _this_ was where you _actually_ lived.”

The puzzled look fell away from Shizuo's face and he removed his gaze from the phone to beam up at Izaya happily. 

“Oh yeah, that. That was at Kasuka's. Ah, I almost forgot that was the one I still had up! Sorry, it _is_ a little old, but I don't have many pictures of myself so...”

“Kasuka...?”

“Yeah. My little brother. That's his place, not mine. But well, that was the last time I was able to get a decent full-body picture...”

Izaya instantly perked up in interest. So Shizuo _did_ have some connections. He leaned forward onto the table and slid his phone back into his pocket, batting his eyelashes in such a ridiculous way that Shizuo became mildly concerned, thinking that he must have gotten something in his eye.

“Oh ho, a rich little brother, huh? Hey, do you think you could, you know, maybe intro - “

Izaya almost physically jumped in his seat at the daggers Shizuo glared at him as he cut him off with a loud growl, his calm murky irises suddenly ablaze with a deep fury that honestly made him a little worried for his safety.

“No fucking _way_ , don't you _dare_ even think about it. I am _not_ about to introduce my precious brother to some pompous, gold digging _jerk_. 'Sides, he's not, uh, you know. Like us. He's got a _girlfriend_...”

Izaya giggled, hand brushing lightly against his mouth as he shot Shizuo another flirtatious glance. He quite liked this spunky side Shizuo was starting to show him. Maybe this wasn't going to be a complete waste of his afternoon after all.

“Ah, just give him some time with me and I'm sure I can change his mind! A girlfriend isn't really a deterrent, I'm afraid. I mean, all of the sweet men I've had before who claimed to be straight also denied it - at _first_ , until they got a taste of _honey_...”

Izaya had been about to continue, but decided better of it when he noticed that the fork Shizuo had been holding was bent and twisted as if it had been made of paper. His eyes widened.

“Did you just..?”

Without any warning, Shizuo threw the origami cutlery as hard as he could at Izaya's head, which Izaya managed to duck from just in time, staring in shock at the sizable dent it made when it plummeted into the wall behind him. Shizuo stood up and pointed towards the door, body trembling, beyond offended that this awful man had even hypothetically attempted to corrupt his baby brother.

“Get _out_.”

“Well now, that's just _rude_. I told you what _my_ issue was, the least you could do is tell me why you thought _I_ wasn't a good fit - especially after throwing things like that at a guest! Honestly, how unrefined...”

Izaya brushed his clothes off as if Shizuo had somehow dirtied them, lip jutting out in a slight pout. He hadn't been expecting to have things thrown at him, and any normal person at that point would have probably left instead of taking their chances with someone who might have been unstable.

But for Izaya, this was the sort of stuff he lived for. _Excitement_. There was a spark here he could most definitely exploit, and if all went well, hopefully by the end of it he could walk away from an impressive inferno. 

There was _no way_ he was leaving just yet.

Shizuo was considering grabbing the man by the scruff and dragging him out himself, when a bit of guilt overtook him at Izaya's words. Kasuka _had_ always told him he should treat his guests with kindness, and as far as he knew, he'd never mentioned any exceptions to that rule, even if the guest in question was a huge jerk. With a disgruntled sigh, he plopped back down, embarrassed he'd let his temper get the better of him.

Shizuo usually wasn't this easily riled, but there was something about this smirking, arrogant man that simply made his blood _boil_.

“I wasn't going to say anything since I was trying to be _civil_ , but you're obviously a _huge asshole_ so I have no problem saying it now I guess. And _then_ when I'm done, I want you to get the fuck out of my apartment and never show your stupid face in front of me ever again!”

“Okay, that sounds fair. I'll leave and never show up again on the condition that you tell me...and also you need to promise you won't be throwing any more projectiles, yeah? Obviously I won't be able to _afford_ expensive hospital bills anytime soon.”

Shizuo rolled his eyes and clenched his teeth, deciding on nodding mutely in agreement lest he go back on his word and start throwing punches immediately. If Izaya was right about one thing, he most definitely couldn't help pay any hospital bills.

“Well, I would _hate_ to judge a book by its _cover_ ,” Shizuo spat out bitterly, his continued irritation unfortunately only making Izaya's obnoxious smirk grow wider. 

“But...well, you're _definitely_ not my type. I guess I couldn't really tell what with that _misleading_ portrait only picture you have up, but to be perfectly honest with you, I was looking for someone who's, y'know. Exerting a more, uh... _domineering_ aura.”

Izaya frowned, looking at Shizuo inquisitively. Those were some big words for someone who Izaya assumed to be uneducated to be using. He also wasn't sure what Shizuo meant by that, exactly.

“Huh...?”

“A dom.” Shizuo admitted with a sigh, reaching up to twirl a bit of his hair anxiously. “Or a master. Either one, I was looking for. You know...someone to be _in charge_. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about...”

Oh. _Oh_.

Izaya's eyes narrowed. Was this man really insinuating what he thought he was insinuating?

“I assure you, I _do_ know what you mean. However, I'm not sure how that pertains to _me_. It just so happens that I have even acted as a master for several people in the past, and I would appreciate it if you didn't make such wild accu - ”

“Yeah, save it. I've heard it all before - trust me - you're not fooling anyone. No offense, Izaya-kun, but I'm like 99 point...” 

Shizuo squinted at him, scrutinizing Izaya closely as he cupped a hand under his chin thoughtfully.

“...9 % sure you take it up the ass. Like, a lot. Actually...probably all the time, right? Not even a power-bottom situation I bet, if I'm guessing correctly here. No switching at all either. Just straight sub.”

Shizuo gave him another full-body sweep with his eyes, and Izaya couldn't help but pull his coat tighter around him, feeling a bit self-conscious and somewhat exposed by the piercing gaze.

“Naw, that's not right, is it? With _those_ looks, and _that_ figure...you're _definitely_ strictly a slave, huh?”

Izaya gasped, an unfamiliar feeling of anger taking over him.

“Excuse _me_ , how _dare_ you - !”

“Hey, hey, it's not an insult, so chill out. I like taking it up the ass as much as the next guy, so don't get your primadonna panties all up in a bunch. It's nothin' to be ashamed of. That's the whole reason this won't work out in the first place, remember? Well, besides the fact you're a money hungry superficial piece of _shit_ , heh...but I digress. I mean, I guess there's ways we could work around it if you _really_ wanted to...”

Shizuo paused and looked to the side, imagining some weird far off fantasy which Izaya was very glad he couldn't see. Whatever he'd been considering, he must have decided against it, as he shook his head softly, bleached locks bouncing around him in disapproval.

“...naw, it'd be too much work. I don't think we'd equally be getting our needs met. Sorry man. It's too bad. You _are_ pretty cute. Your personality's kinda shitty, but I might have been willing to make an exception even for a complete douche bag since you're _attractive_. Oh well. You're gonna make some master very happy one day, I'm sure. You've got all the right looks of the perfect little slave. Must be nice...”

Shizuo grumbled out the words, and if Izaya didn't know any better, he'd swore there was a tinge of jealousy shining through the sarcasm in his voice.

Izaya's frown deepened. This man he'd previously thought was so charming had completely caught him off guard on so many levels at that point (and without even meaning to), he wasn't exactly sure how to respond anymore. Shizuo wasn't a handsome, rich bastard at _all_ – he was a poor, sexy, smart ass little bitch who was surprisingly good at throwing shade back in Izaya's self-righteous face.

Izaya had to admit, he was even more intrigued. Maybe money _wasn't_ the most important thing here to him anymore. 

...Well, it was definitely on his to-do list, but he _always_ had room to take in a new pretty, obedient pet on the side.

Izaya stretched his arms above him and yawned, as if he was bored by Shizuo's rambling.

“Your theories have all been very enlightening, but I'm afraid you've got it all wrong, Shizuo-san. I most definitely _could_ take on a dom or even a master role if that's what you'd like. We _could_ have made this work, but unfortunately it's too late to take back your frank words now. I'll go ahead and see myself out. Sorry for bothering you.”

Izaya pushed himself away from the table with an air of finality and went to make a dramatic exit, curious to see how Shizuo would react to his front. Instead of begging him to reconsider, Izaya was only met with the sound of booming laughter.

“Sure, sure, whatever you say, Izaya. Man, you are too funny. Funny and cute, huh? Don't try and tease me with those false words of hope, pfft. I swear, I _almost_ believed you there for a moment! You practically had my heart for a split-second, haha!”

Izaya spun around on his heel to face Shizuo again, and placed his hands on his hips challengingly. So the puppy wanted to play, huh?

“...you want me to prove it?”

“I'd like to see you try.”

Shizuo waggled his eyebrows with a smirk, and Izaya immediately decided that he'd had enough. There were plenty of other subs in the sea he could choose from that would be way less cheeky and annoying as this horrible man (and probably a few cute ones that even had some decent savings, although Izaya was trying not to get his hopes up too much). He made a move to spin right back around and head for the door. 

Unfortunately for Izaya, Shizuo was just starting to get into it and he got up so he could reach a hand out to grasp Izaya's wrist as he attempted to retreat. Izaya shot him a scathing look, incredibly displeased by being manhandled, and Shizuo released him, not wanting to accidentally hurt him by using too much strength. He held his hands up in mock surrender. 

“Hey, hey, don't be like that, _sweetheart_. Really, please do. I'd...”

Shizuo raised an arm to scratch the back of his neck and lowered his voice to a sultry whisper, and a curious Izaya moved in closer to hear him.

“...like to laugh some more. Ah, whoops, I'm still being a dick, aren't I? Sorry!”

Izaya wasn't sure there was an expression he could wear that could properly display the amount of disgust and annoyance he felt towards Shizuo that would have been appropriate for the situation. He clicked his tongue and placed a firm hand on Shizuo's shoulder.

“Alright, that's _enough_. I think some discipline _is_ in order, because I cannot possibly leave one of my fellow doms in good conscience at the off-chance they might have to deal with your terrible attitude at a later point and time. Come now, sit down. We'll either talk out terms like gentlemen or do this the hard way, it's up to you.”

There was a moment of silence as the two glared at each other, both caught in an unspoken battle of wills in which neither really wanted to back down, although Izaya most definitely noticed the way Shizuo tensed underneath his grip.

_This isn't going to be that hard, is it? I know how your kind work, just a few firm words and phrases here and some well placed touches there...I know what makes you fold, idiot...you should have never revealed such a weak spot in front of someone like me._

Izaya thought as he stared, a small smile unfurling across his face like a victory flag. If he was reading the situation correctly, Shizuo just needed some guidance and a swift kick back in his place. 

“W-Why don't you fucking... _make me_ , you...you little _prick_?!”

Shizuo growled out as he broke eye contact, feeling a familiar warmth envelope him from the commanding way Izaya was speaking to him. His face flushed, and he was realizing a little too late that he had himself made a grave miscalculation in character towards this alluring stranger.

Izaya chuckled, choosing to find the flustered waver in Shizuo's voice endearing rather than be insulted by his bluffing words. He removed his hand from Shizuo's shoulder to trail it up slowly behind his neck, fingering a small patch of silky hair. Leaning in closer, he placed his mouth near Shizuo's ear, drawing air slowly to murmur softly into it.

“ _Shizu-chan_. Please, I'm not going to tell you again. Kindly _sit down_ and _shut up_.”

Izaya swept his hand away abruptly to gesture towards the chairs they had been sitting in earlier. Shizuo sulked and was still glowering weakly, but regardless he moved back to his chair and returned to his seat without so much as another protest. Izaya joined him, folding his hands underneath his chin as he leaned on the table across from him, grinning cheerfully.

“Uh...yes sir, sorry sorry, got a little carried away there, I guess...”

Izaya had to keep himself from devolving into a delirious giggling fit – he _had_ been right about one thing. His new puppy _was_ all bark and no bite. 

For a moment, Shizuo waited patiently as Izaya seemed preoccupied by his thoughts, until he noticed something that left him with a sour taste in his mouth. He shook his head fiercely, trying to erase the spell Izaya had managed to cast on him.

“Wait, _what_ did you just call me?!”

“Shizu-chan. That's what I'm going to call you until you learn how to be more respectful. I think it's only fair considering the way you've been treating me, don't you?”

“ _No_ , I don't think...”

Izaya gave him a warning look, and Shizuo instantly changed his words in defeat with a sigh.

“Uh...I...yes sir. That sounds reasonable,” Shizuo grumbled out bitterly. 

Izaya wasn't nearly as bothered with the tone now that he had one-upped the man.

“Good to hear you being polite for once. So, you really want to do this? Because I just want to say, I take this very seriously, and once a contract has been written I expect nothing but absolute obedience. That seems to be one of your weak points, so I can promise you that this will be just as beneficial for you as it will be for me.”

Shizuo opened his mouth, paused, and let his jaw hang open instead. He was contemplating the proposal this time before ruining the opportunity with his mouth, which often got the best of him. He _had_ been having a hard time finding a master who had wanted to train him...Shizuo had always assumed it was because he didn't fit the stereotypical mold of most male slaves, but he was starting to think maybe Izaya had a point about his attitude.

This was awful. Out of all the options, his only one ended up being some arrogant dick who originally had only wanted a daddy to provide him with an unlimited amount of funds.

“I...yeah. I would like to, if you'd...uh, you'd be willing to.”

Izaya's smile was practically blinding, and Shizuo's fingers twitched, desperately wanting to punch that stupid, smug look right off his face.

“I'm glad to hear it! This is probably going to be challenging for you, so I just want you to know that if you have any questions or concerns to not hesitate to contact me! You already have my number, of course, so I'm sure someone as simple-minded as you can handle something like that, right?”

“Why you little fucking - !”

Izaya cut him off with a wave of his hand.

“You should really stop while you're ahead, Shizu-chan. That mouth of yours is probably the reason no one ever wants to deal with you. Well that, and the fact that apparently you think throwing things at your guests is an appropriate way to behave. If you want to change that, I suggest that you either calmly agree, or just shut up for good.”

Shizuo removed his gaze, ashamed that he couldn't just keep up a calm facade when he needed to. He nodded, not trusting his tongue to keep from voicing how pissed off he was.

“In any case, I have many ways we can deal with those issues later if we need to~! So keep that in mind, ne, Shizu-chan?” 

Izaya winked at him and Shizuo curled up further in his seat.

“I think that's all I can say for today, as I have some business to attend to and this has already taken way longer than I thought it would.”

Izaya gave a satisfied laugh, and then pushed himself out of his seat so he could bound over to Shizuo. Now that he was towering over him instead, Izaya felt physically dizzy, drunk on a power trip that had only just begun. Yes, this was all turning out much, _much_ better than he could have ever imagined. He had no doubts that Shizuo would make for one amazing pet.

Fisting his fingers into golden locks, Izaya pulled gently so that Shizuo had to look up at him, even though he was desperately trying to shrink away. His other hand made its way to Shizuo's jawline, fluttering up to his cheek to stroke it tenderly. Shizuo looked insulted by this at first, but his expression grew softer as Izaya scratched his scalp.

“Tomorrow. 20:00. My place. I'll send you the address later.”

Izaya purred out to him, and then moved his face so that his lips were mere inches from Shizuo's own. Comforted by the touches, Shizuo fell for it, his eyes slipping closed in anticipation of a kiss.

Instead, he only felt the ghost of hot air as Izaya snapped out in a suddenly cold voice.

“Don't be late, Shizu-chan.”

It _wasn't_ a command - Shizuo noticed right away as he opened his eyes in time to see Izaya skip towards his door and wave a short greeting in goodbye, and he didn't have much time to feel regret as panic overtook him at just how easily he'd been blindsided.

It was a warning.

**Author's Note:**

> ( ͡͡ ° ͜ ʖ ͡ °) Oo, that was kinda sexy, huh?
> 
> Unfortunately, this is just supposed to be a one-shot prompt fill (technically a ficlet but i have no self-control) so...sorry haha I got carried away and then it turned into something with actual potential. Whoops. 
> 
> I _could_ continue it, but idk if I'll get around to it if I decide to since I'm actually going to finish the first chapter of the sequel to Nothing Ventured probably by this weekend (and then that's a whole long ass story on its own, along with Say Cheese) Well, I guess it just depends on the feedback I get! Hope you all enjoy this by itself for now~


End file.
